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Writer's pictureJon Best

Twisted Pants

A woman waited trembling at the crossroads Not fear but Parkinson’s with movement slowed She waited for the devil to make him an offer If she loses he will have her soul for his coffers

The devil laughs loud as he sees who awaits With ease he will tempt from Heavens pearly gates Your health for your soul but you can choose the sport Whatever she chose she would surely fall short

The devil almost choked she replied gymnastics Really? He queried in a voice so bombastic Obviously mad her soul she would gift But why waste time when her defeat would be swift

The devil chose bars for his apparatus Leapt up with a routine to cement his status He twisted he spun his control was above par Somersaulted dismount had set a high bar

She decided to perform her floor show Not graceful but she could do it slow She started her routine with tumble Whilst putting her pants on with a fumble

In air pants did backward roll with twist Lost balance but determined she did persist Not flexible but her clothes were elastic Bounced up bladder control fantastic

She put on her socks but had to contort Stretching down was a dangerous sport She lowered her rising blood pressure Thanked god for Velcro fastening treasure

Her finale used some apparatus Shoe-horned in but effort caused flatus The devil smiled he must be a shoe in His points scores impressive he must win

His opponent marked high for difficulty Totalled up with a score greater than he There must be some mistake he announced Preparing for the deal to be renounced

Devil I expect you to keep your promise She said cure me Parkinson’s dismiss Or you will get not only sole but whole foot As I kick your ass hard with my left boot.


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