To hoard or not to hoard, that is the question

I've always been a hoarder, won't throw anything away.

Now I think I ought to find a little time one day

To sort through bulging drawers and cupboards which overflow,

All the things I never use, it's time for them to go.

I've got my mother's glasses; she's been gone for 30 years

There are some things that I want to keep - they're personal souveniers.

Like a pair of dark green flares with a waist of 29,

Now my waist is 34 and I'm really past my prime.

A pile of vinyl records, but nothing to play them on;

The ones that were worth keeping, I've sold and they're long gone.

A fake Rolex that's broken, it cannot tell the time.

A model crab with a missing leg, it's now got only nine.

A garage full of tools that are so far out of date,

Like a Yankee screwdriver I've not used since '98.

The list goes on forever, so I'll put them all away,

Back in the loft where they belong, until I look again one day.