This one highlights my ongoing struggle with petty bureaucracy

A ( not so) useful tip

You tell me I can’t come in,

so I said,” can you tell me why not,”

you told me I had to book online,

and get an allocated slot.

“So let’s get this straight” I said,

“you’re open, and I’m the only one here,

but I can’t come in, because I haven’t pre-booked,

you’ve made that very clear.

I suppose that makes perfect sense when you’re busy,

and you’ve got cars queueing up nose to tail,

but there is no queue, there’s no one else here,

surely common sense must prevail.

Can’t you just use your initiative.

and override the need to book ahead,

you must see how absurd this is,”

but you just smiled and shook your head .

“I’m afraid you must book online, Sir,

I have rules to follow, you see,

only when you have got, an allocated slot,

can I allow you to enter the facility? “

He seemed to be enjoying the fact,

that he possessed a little bit of power,

I’ve encountered this passive aggressive smugness before,

we could go on like this for hours.

So I said ..very politely,

I know you’re only following instructions,

and I know you don’t make the rules ,

I don’t wish to cause you any disruption,

so I’ll tell you , what I’m going to do.

I’m going to get into my car and drive into this facility,

and I’m going to put everything in the correct zone,

using all the correct receptacles

and then I’m going to drive out and go home.

You can report me to your supervisor,

or inform whoever ever you see fit,

the only way to stop me is to physically restrain me,

and we both know it won’t come to that , will it?”

So I got in my car and I did as I’d said,

and just as I was about to go ,

I was approached by another employee,

who gently tapped on my window.

“What’s this “?, I asked “It’s a short survey, “ he said ,

his name badge told me he was called Malcolm,

“It only takes a couple of minutes to complete,

and your feedback would be very welcome…

Thank you for using the Council Recycling Centre,

I hope you have a good day,”

“No , thank YOU Malcolm,” I said , handing back the leaflet,

“I think I’ll fill it in later, online , if that’s ok…..?“, I smiled, then slowly drove away.

( in a totally non passive aggressive and unsmug manner )

Mark Crump. Jan. 2024 ©️