The Lurgy

Oh no I think I’ve caught the lurgy,

I can feel it coming on.

I’ve been out of sorts for days now,

the fatigue keeps growing strong.

I think I’ve caught the lurgy,

I must have got it on the plane.

The guy in row 12 , seat C,

was coughing again and again.

I think I’ve caught the lurgy,

I can feel it my bones.

My body aches from top to toe,

in places I didn’t know.

I think I’ve caught the lurgy,

I can feel it in my throat.

It’s as rough as a badgers arse,

and dry as a camel’s coat.

I’ve definitely got the lurgy,

streaming eyes and nose is blocked.

The minute My head hits the pillow,

I start to gag and cough.

I’ve definitely got the lurgy,

a high temperature in my core.

Burning hot whilst feeling cold,

sweating from every pore.

I’ve definitely got the lurgy,

my heads about to vasospasm.

As mucus like Vesuvius,

spouts out like ectoplasm.

I’ve definitely got the lurgy

Keeping the house awake

Sneezing like a banshee

and snoring like an Ape

I’ve definitely got the lurgy

My voice belongs to an unknown

It’s gone from being soprano

to a sexy baritone

I’ve definitely got the lurgy,

Break out the Kleenex, Beechams lemon too

I’ve definitely caught the lurgy

a.k.a. Man flu