The Last Laugh

Lost

Arriving, a small town to preach,

was Billy Graham, mission man.

A letter to mail, he enquired

of a small boy whom he passed by

where in the town, post office was.

The lad told him, and after thanks,

said Billy ‘If you’ll come to church

this evening you can hear me tell

how everyone can get to heaven.’

‘I don’t think I’ll be there’ said chap;

‘For you don’t even know your way

to the post office’. Q.E.D.

Jest Crèche

Posh lady told me of the crèche

with which her daughter been involved.

I asked how many kids there were.

She looked perplexed and questioning,

and said of children there were none.

I looked perplexed and questioning.

When told me it was the other’s fault,

her crèche I reckoned was my crash.

So in non-conversation, bared,

made clear the other person, me.

VIP

The Pope was on an East Coast tour,

to airport driven, limousine,

when Francis pipes up, ‘Can I drive?’

With little choice, the Pope takes wheel,

enjoying freedom, open road,

soon speeding, trooper giving chase.

Astonished at through-window view,

‘A moment please, I must call in.’

By radio he talks to boss:

‘A man, really important pulled,

so need to know what I’m to do.’

‘The Governor?’ ‘No, so much more’

‘The President?’ ‘No, yet much more.’,

Perplexed so, ‘Damn, but who the hell?’

‘I don’t know, but’ state trooper says,

‘He has the Pope as his chauffeur’.

In Short

The vicar, known for sermon length

took note when, midway, one man left.

Returning just before the end,

he asked the chap where he had been.

‘I went to get a haircut’ said,

‘But not before the service, why?’

‘Because I didn’t need one then.’