I have been struggling to write recently so I decided to take one of my older poems and rework it, this is the result. It is a poem of two voices, a bear and a human each taking alternate lines. I have tried to write it so it can be read as a whole or three separate poems. I’ll leave you to decide which you think is which. I’d be grateful for any feedback to find out if folk think it works. Cheers Ali
It waits
I watch
in the early morning’s quiet
alone in the woods
standing on stiff legs
warm breath hanging
in the cold air
it must know I’m here.
as still as the doe before it bolts
a quickening in my stomach
eyes watching
blood pulsing
anticipating
fight or flee?
Great stuff Ali, I almost constantly re-work, or re-do my work until i'm content.
That is so clever. It really is three poems! The different colours help. I wonder if you could do more with the title? Something that hints at the trickery in the poem