Screen Interference
Circa 1975, a sitting room in Ballymoney,
spellbound anticipation heralds it’s arrival,
a Decca colour TV, heavy dark wood and shiny buttons,
courtesy of Radio Rentals (and license money saved, now the dog has gone).
Meanwhile in the “good room”, consternation grows,
the radiogram faces the gathered ranks,
of World Book encyclopaedias and whispers,
“That’s it, we’re finished now- for us it’s over.”
The Sodastream hisses nervously, the lava lamp gulps,
the trim phone on her pedestal of Yellow Pages,
chirps smugly from the hallway,
“Well, I’ll be fine, I’m a fixture now.”
In the kitchen, oblivious to it all,
a twin tub casts aside her laundry tongs,
and shimmies across the floor to the fridge,
her regular source of enlightenment.
The bakelite wireless, his voice cracking,
whistles shortwave to the fridge, who mumbles,
trying to stay cool, juggling countless tupperwares,
six baked beans in one, a pineapple ring in another.
Decca looks down from her elevated shelf,
children forbidden to touch the screen, where
a girl plays noughts and crosses in a blur,
till the clown masters the vertical hold.
With definition dictated only by sight ability,
Richard Baker appears out of the ether,
The News at 5.45, The Troubles in technicolour,
Reverend Ian booming in glorious stereo.
Only ever to be switched on for an essential purpose,
Dad needing to be abreast of Tomorrow’s World,
Mum checking emigrants Val Doonican and Eamon Andrews are OK,
(she also checked Parkinson and Mike Yarwood).
Sunday evening saw the kids herded like cats,
forced education, Life on Earth, Roots,
social penance for watching,
Black and White Minstrels the night before.
Whitehouse style censorship and parental resolve crumbled,
inviting in Morecambe and Wise, Dick Emery, Jimmy Hill,
Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks filled the screen,
as kids wrestled on the carpet below
And after fifty years of screen interference…..
Alexa, tell me why I have no real friends?
Gemini, why am I miserable, my influencer is so happy?
Siri, what is nuanced opinion? I can’t find it on X.
Wait, I can’t hear you for the television!
A great hit of nostalgia!