Frozen.. I’m sure some of you will be able to relate to this….

Frozen

There Is something I need to tell you, I’m not looking for sympathy,

for the last few years now ,I’ve been living with Parkinson’s disease.

Now although this can be a problem, I know that things could be worse,

I wasn’t going to mention it, but it comes up in the following verse.

The symptoms for the disease, can be varied and quite wide ranging,

and as it is a progressive disorder , they seem to be constantly changing

the main symptom is the shaking, especially in my hands

this can be quite awkward and annoying , as you will come to understand.

other symptoms, well..

My voice is going and it can sound like I’m mumbling,

sometimes I find it difficult to walk and keep tripping up and stumbling.

But there is one particular symptom, the one I find most displeasing,

and that Is the one, when out of the blue, I experience a temporary freezing.

It’s like my body closes down ,there’s nothing i can do,

I’m just stuck in that position , like a shaking human statue,

indoors or outdoors, it can happen anywhere,

I can freeze in the shop doorway, or sitting in a chair.

I’ll tell you about a freezing episode, that happened recently,

my wife and I were sat in the kitchen, having a cup of tea,

we were listening to the popular morning music quiz, on radio two,

when suddenly I felt the need, to pop up to the loo.

“Shall I turn the volume up”?she said “so you can hear the question,”

( little did we know the havoc that would be caused by that suggestion)

“Can do if you like “I said, rising from my chair,

“I think it’s the bonus round next , where you have to guess the year.”

Now because of the shaking hands, that I mentioned previously,

these days more often than not, I sit down when I have a Pee,

you’ve probably already guessed it, bound to happen one day I suppose,

I had a wee, went to stand up, what do you know I froze.

Now I count myself as fortunate, I’ve got a lovely wife who helps me out,

‘don’t panic mark’ I thought to myself, ‘just give Les a shout,’

“Could you come and help me love,” I called, but it’s no use,

all she could hear, were the dulcet tones, of radios’ Ken Bruce.

He said “this song was covered by The Rolling Stones, in 1986,

but can you tell me the name of the duo, who had the original hit”?

“Les I need your help“ I called again , as I still couldn’t move a muscle,

“This one is easy “shouted Les, “it’s Bob and Earl, singing Harlem shuffle.”

Les, I call again, and again she doesn’t hear,

then Ken said “bonus question, name the band, and name the year,”

he played a song, and I’m not sure, what came over me,

I shouted really loud, “that’s Sugar Baby Love, by the Rubettes , 1973.”

“ Nice answer “said Les, “good” I thought, “she can hear me when I shout ,”

then she called upstairs, “I’m just going in the garden, to hang the washing out,”

“But Les” I called , to no avail, as she had already gone,

“Who had a hit with. ‘ learning to fly?”, said Ken (Tom Petty 1991)

Things had taken a turn for the worse , this was bordering on a disaster,

I could be here for quite a while, well at least until the end of pop master,

Bonus question said Ken , remember I need the band and the date,

another easy one I thought , ‘hanging on the telephone’ , Blondie , 1978 .

I was in a bit of a pickle, stuck to this toilet seat ,

I caught my reflection in the ...’mirror in the bathroom’... (1980,… The Beat),

looks like no help is coming, I’ll have to figure out myself what to do,

“Who had a hit with this “? said Ken , ‘Schools out ‘...Alice Cooper ...1972

And just like that, it’s over, I’m back to normal I think,

I slowly and unsteadily get up from the seat, clutching onto the sink,

“Final bonus question” says Ken, “I need the artist and the year,”

And from back in ‘ 79 Anita Ward sang ‘ring my bell’

Ring my Bell, hmmmm

now that’s given me an idea…

Mark Crump 2023 ©️