French Dressing

It’s out of my range to do a quick change

In moments of passion it’s becoming the fashion

To remain fully dressed haven’t you guessed

I made up that line to make me feel fine

When it’s time for a shower I need a full hour

The soap is alive it’s doing the jive.

With a dopamine pill it may become still

The shampoo is gel it’s so hard to tell

I have to confess I needed much less

There’s masses of foam will it muck up the chrome?

Two rinses or more to get out the door

At last I am done it’s not been much fun

When did my clothes become sticky and putting them on was more tricky,

Are my arms just too long or my fingers not strong.

For buttons and zips have you any tips?

They fold and refuse whatever I use,

To fit through the gap, they now need a map.

And zips with their teeth are not a relief,

They need careful adjusting it’s like they were rusting.

I need Velcro and poppers please tell the shoppers.

No button-down shirts. Could I ever wear skirts?

My pants aren’t that easy it’s making me queasy,

Two legs down one side “I’m falling.” I cried.

“They’ve a mind of their own” I’m starting to moan.

Each separate sock I have to unlock.

Nobody knows I can’t reach my toes.

It’s the end of my feet that try to compete,

They get hooked in each garment, that’s not their department

My least favourite task is having to ask.

“Can you help me get dressed” I think I’m depressed

Attending the Gents puts me in suspense,

There’s looks of surprise as I play with my flies.

It’s too difficult there, no wonder they stare.

The sleeves in my jackets are turning to packets,

Where's the hole at the end it sends me round the bend

Would it be rude to just sit in the nude?

I’ll get dressed tomorrow and maybe I'll borrow.

A cape or a cloak but that’s just a joke.

I’ll struggle and try, There’s no need to cry,

I’ll dress and I’ll look like the men in the book.

And no one will know it’s the Parkinson’s show

If it fits like a glove then heavens above

I'm now getting obsessed with trying to get dressed

While trying to shave my hands won't behave

Would it be weird to just grow a beard

I'm starting to sweat but I'm not ready yet

One thing that’s new I’m sharing with you.

My watch straps elastic it fits me, fantastic!