Down the Lane

To pull a crowd he began to shout

This would be, amiable, street vending tout

"What cost yer pounds, won't cost yer shillings.

And what cost yer shillings won't cost yer pence.

'Cause here today I've got a bargain. "

How he did it just didin't make sense

"Your appetite I think I've wet.

So starting with this small gift set

Of four bath cubes and some toilet water

The price, of course, you'll think I'm bluffing.

It's a gift for you from me

This set will cost you nothing."

With small talk he just carried on

'Till around him gathered quite a throng

Then offered a scent he called Torment.

"This one smells of rose and lingers

I tell yer, when men take a sniff

You'll wrap them 'round your finger."

"Another gift , you'll be pleased to see,

Cost you nothing, again it's free.

This must be your lucky day.

Now none of this can be reserved

It has to be first come first served

You'll regret it if you just walk away."

"So here is the last, Fabrique D'or

A perfume you will know for sure.

Just count up what you have got.

All three you can take away

There's nothing else for me to say.

A fiver buys the lot !"

Voices in the crowd were raised

Hands went up, you'd be amazed.

But these folks were taken in

The sellers patter you couldn't falter

The contents was just scented water

Fit just for the bin.

The labels and contents were false

The product inside, useless of course.

Nothing in this world is free

Next day this tradesman had gone.

How I knew it was a con?

Selling it, I must admit

Was no-one else but me!