Who says anger is unproductive - I’d like to floor them…with my non-violent wit of course. anger is a potent energy but it’s largely directionless. It’s when we abdicate our sense of reason that we drop the protective boundaries and often burn up in the fire anger of aggression or the explosion anger of ‘No!!”
But if we realise that anger is not an individual feeling but a cluster of henchmen feelings we can start to develop a different relationship with it. The henchmen include frustration, violation, irritation, perceived injustice, the unmet need to be listened to…and others. Anger is never present on its own but will always be standing on the shoulders of these henchmen (and henchwomen) feelings and perceptions.
I try to relate to my anger as a creative energy. If I oppose it head on it can ignite me or drain me.
But if I touch deeply the well of whatever this well is deep inside us that we know we can trust, then I am stabilised. I can identify what anger needs me to listen to. I can then also observe or listen to each of the henchmen (henchpeople) and work out what action I need to take.
Of course that makes me sound perfect….I’m nowhere near but I have found a path through…and many thanks to Marshall Rosenberg, John Paul Lederach and the great Leonard Daniels for teaching me where the path lies. The directions to your path through are always go into the red mist…..slowly….stay there….
and back to the title for this post - you already know the answer
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