A Movement Disorder

The textbooks will tell you this Parkinson’s curse

is a movement disorder but we know it’s worse

than that sounds, with a cocktail of symptoms to face.

Some all of us have, some are less commonplace

There’s one about which people don’t often speak.

See, I haven’t had a movement all week.

I’ve a pill for the shakes and some more for the night,

for BP and depression and all kinds of shite.

I do exercise, physio, tai chi and circuits.

They tell us the effort will prove to be worth it.

Perfecting those Parkinson’s Warrior techniques.

But I haven’t had a movement all week.

I start every day with a handful of prunes,

apricots, linseeds and figs are consumed

All mixed up with porridge and water galore

and muesli that looks like it’s swept off the floor.

A fibre filled brew, a taste that's unique

but I haven’t had a movement all week

They said that a movement consultant might work.

So, I walked up and down, and he gave me a jerk.

He poked and he prodded me head down to toes

Made me tap both my fingers and point at my nose

Then he asked me to give him my personal critique

I said I haven’t had a movement all week.

So, I wait in the loo for the first sign of action

With crosswords and novels providing distraction

and wide-open windows for fresh ventilation.

I’ve even tried chanting and zen meditation

But none of them bring the result that I seek

Cos, I haven’t had a movement all week

I drink water distilled with medicinal flowers,

laxatives, softeners, purges and powders

I am pleased to announce the success of these potions

as early this morning the house passed a Motion

and my stomach returned to its usual physique

cos I hadn’t had a movement all week.

So to speak

I hadn’t had a movement all week.

What a freak

I hadn’t had a movement all week.